Another case of Bell's turned up the other day at work. There are *maybe* 40 employees in my current location. What are the odds??
Unfortunately now I'm having to answer questions about the contagious aspect of Bell's. All I can say is that BP is by nature idiopathic, i.e. it has no known cause. However, many physicians suspect that it is the result of a complication of a virus. Following this logic, if it is in fact a virus that caused my BP, then that virus is contagious, as are all viruses. However, the complication that resulted from the virus (i.e. Bell's Palsy) is not contagious.
Very little new to report on my progress. I've been having some violent twitching in my right eyebrow - so violent that it feels like someone is grabbing my optical nerve from behind and jerking it back and upwards. Hopefully that is going to mean progress, as my eye is definitely the slow mover in my recovery.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Day 35?
Ok, I give in. I'm not posting daily any more. This decision is a reflection primarily of how much better I am doing. I'm seeing improvements over days now, instead of daily, so there isn't always something new and exciting to say regarding the BP. I'm also improved so significantly that I don't think about the BP all the time and it doesn't seem to encroach upon every aspect of my life any more (and hasn't, since I started wearing the contacts again).
I do have a new ability, though! I noticed last Saturday that for a second there when I was brushing my teeth it almost seemed like the water wasn't going to shoot out of my mouth. It did anyways, but the next day it did less, and last night, hardly at all! So there you go, new trick that two-year-olds have mastered but BP takes away from you #1001: swishing water around in your mouth without squirting.
Still on the drawing board: winking with the palsy-side eye, crinkling my nose symmetrically, snarling symmetrically, and re-gaining full feeling in my cheek, and having my right contact track properly (someone suggested maybe my eyelids aren't holding it down the way they normally would??).
I do have a new ability, though! I noticed last Saturday that for a second there when I was brushing my teeth it almost seemed like the water wasn't going to shoot out of my mouth. It did anyways, but the next day it did less, and last night, hardly at all! So there you go, new trick that two-year-olds have mastered but BP takes away from you #1001: swishing water around in your mouth without squirting.
Still on the drawing board: winking with the palsy-side eye, crinkling my nose symmetrically, snarling symmetrically, and re-gaining full feeling in my cheek, and having my right contact track properly (someone suggested maybe my eyelids aren't holding it down the way they normally would??).
Friday, October 12, 2007
Vampire Time
In the spirit of true sarcasm, I just had to put this out there.
I went to get more blood drawn today. The way it works is that a bunch of doctors use this one blood-drawing lab company. So if you are at the doctor and need blood drawn, they just give you some papers which you take to the lab and you get it done. Or, if your doctor decides later that they need more of your blood (as in my case), they fax the papers to the lab, and you just show up.
So I showed up at the lab around 12:45 today. Waited in a looooooong line. Finally got up to the front where *one* person was working, and told him my name and that Dr. K faxed my papers over. He takes out a giant stack of papers, proceeds to have me spell my name 3 more times while he flips through it, and cannot find my paperwork. Lovely.
Then he asks me to call the doctor's office to have them fax the paperwork over again. He doesn't know the extension, but that is ok, I have it memorized. He gives me a funny look and asks how I know the extension and I say, "Oh, I've been on the phone with them a lot in the past week."
So I call and get Grumpy Nurse. I've spoken with Grumpy Nurse before. She isn't my favorite person. I tell her I'm at the lab and they can't find my paperwork, could she please fax it over again? She tells me it has already been faxed. Ummm, hello, that's why I said AGAIN. And really, I don't care whose fault this is, I just want to get it over with. She says fine. I ask if she'll do it now. She says yes. I confirm that she has the correct fax number. She does. It is 1pm by now.
30 minutes later the guy comes over and says they still haven't gotten the fax. I suggest that since he is the employee of this company, that maybe Grumpy Nurse will listen to him if he calls.
While he's on the phone, he calls across the room to have me yell-spell my name at him. Again.
He gets off the phone and doesn't update me.
30 minutes later I get in line to tell him I'm leaving. Obviously they don't need my blood badly enough.
While I'm in line, a lab tech comes out and calls my name. I say, "Oh, great, I didn't even think I was checked in!" He asks for my paperwork. I don't have any. That's what they give you when you get checked in. I never was officially checked in.
I'm getting ready to start crying now.
He tells me to go on into the lab. He finds my paperwork. He draws *5 vials* of my blood.
I leave at 2:15. Lovely.
I went to get more blood drawn today. The way it works is that a bunch of doctors use this one blood-drawing lab company. So if you are at the doctor and need blood drawn, they just give you some papers which you take to the lab and you get it done. Or, if your doctor decides later that they need more of your blood (as in my case), they fax the papers to the lab, and you just show up.
So I showed up at the lab around 12:45 today. Waited in a looooooong line. Finally got up to the front where *one* person was working, and told him my name and that Dr. K faxed my papers over. He takes out a giant stack of papers, proceeds to have me spell my name 3 more times while he flips through it, and cannot find my paperwork. Lovely.
Then he asks me to call the doctor's office to have them fax the paperwork over again. He doesn't know the extension, but that is ok, I have it memorized. He gives me a funny look and asks how I know the extension and I say, "Oh, I've been on the phone with them a lot in the past week."
So I call and get Grumpy Nurse. I've spoken with Grumpy Nurse before. She isn't my favorite person. I tell her I'm at the lab and they can't find my paperwork, could she please fax it over again? She tells me it has already been faxed. Ummm, hello, that's why I said AGAIN. And really, I don't care whose fault this is, I just want to get it over with. She says fine. I ask if she'll do it now. She says yes. I confirm that she has the correct fax number. She does. It is 1pm by now.
30 minutes later the guy comes over and says they still haven't gotten the fax. I suggest that since he is the employee of this company, that maybe Grumpy Nurse will listen to him if he calls.
While he's on the phone, he calls across the room to have me yell-spell my name at him. Again.
He gets off the phone and doesn't update me.
30 minutes later I get in line to tell him I'm leaving. Obviously they don't need my blood badly enough.
While I'm in line, a lab tech comes out and calls my name. I say, "Oh, great, I didn't even think I was checked in!" He asks for my paperwork. I don't have any. That's what they give you when you get checked in. I never was officially checked in.
I'm getting ready to start crying now.
He tells me to go on into the lab. He finds my paperwork. He draws *5 vials* of my blood.
I leave at 2:15. Lovely.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
In other news...
I'm still hurting this morning. The pain meds helped me sleep, but I was wanting to stay drug-free at work. Now I'm thinking of amending that to half-drug-free at work, because I don't think I'm going to be able to hang in there otherwise, unfortunately.
In other news, though, last night when I brushed my teeth I could *almost* keep the water in my mouth. Almost.
That's progress!
In other news, though, last night when I brushed my teeth I could *almost* keep the water in my mouth. Almost.
That's progress!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
The headache that isn't a headache
My pain is back.
I had a headache when I got home last night. My normal headaches go away when I sleep, so I expected to wake up this morning better.
Now I think that it isn't a headache.
I think I'm interpreting it as a headache because there are no other words of description for the pain I'm feeling. It is in my neck (on the right side). It is in my face (on the right side). But most painfully, it is in my right eye. I've even been confused today about where it hurts. It hurts everywhere on the right side from my collarbone up.
And let me tell you, this hurts. Badly. I finally left work early - I just couldn't take it, couldn't focus on anything other than the pain.
I'm back on the pain meds. Oh, glorious 5 days of alertness, such a sad end.
Bah!! I thought this was over when the pain didn't come back last weekend!!
I had a headache when I got home last night. My normal headaches go away when I sleep, so I expected to wake up this morning better.
Now I think that it isn't a headache.
I think I'm interpreting it as a headache because there are no other words of description for the pain I'm feeling. It is in my neck (on the right side). It is in my face (on the right side). But most painfully, it is in my right eye. I've even been confused today about where it hurts. It hurts everywhere on the right side from my collarbone up.
And let me tell you, this hurts. Badly. I finally left work early - I just couldn't take it, couldn't focus on anything other than the pain.
I'm back on the pain meds. Oh, glorious 5 days of alertness, such a sad end.
Bah!! I thought this was over when the pain didn't come back last weekend!!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Scars
After a bit of bruja-ness, I finally got to talk to the neurologist around 5 today.
She saw some scars in my brain. 2 or 3, very small, frontal and parietal lobes on the left side. She said if I was old, she would think that I had had a few very small strokes. She said because I'm young, she's wondering if I've ever had any head trauma.
I've never had any head trauma. I mean, Jared O. in high school flicked me behind my right ear once and I got a painful bump. I've also had a bump on my forehead that I don't even remember the cause of, but both of these were on the right side of my head. My mom wants me to tell the doctor that I was born naturally, then she said some words that I didn't understand, but that I understood to mean I came out fine and tested fine once I was out. Dad wondered if playing the drums in high school could cause it because of the vibrations (*seriously* - I love my Dad, but my bass drum did *not* scar my brain). I've never been in a car accident (fingers crossed, knock on wood, and all of that). Anyways, no head trauma.
Fine. She wants to run an ekg and some bloodwork to "make sure I'm not susceptible to this kind of thing". My interpretation? To make sure I don't have MS. Hey, you google brain scarring and see what you get!
I think the scarring is probably insignificant/unimportant (don't say "nothing" - there is something there, after all). Of all the things she could have seen in my MRI, other than nothing special, this would be my choice. I appreciate her thoroughness and will submit to additional poking and prodding.
Knowledge is so much better than a fear of the unknown. Now I can relax.
She saw some scars in my brain. 2 or 3, very small, frontal and parietal lobes on the left side. She said if I was old, she would think that I had had a few very small strokes. She said because I'm young, she's wondering if I've ever had any head trauma.
I've never had any head trauma. I mean, Jared O. in high school flicked me behind my right ear once and I got a painful bump. I've also had a bump on my forehead that I don't even remember the cause of, but both of these were on the right side of my head. My mom wants me to tell the doctor that I was born naturally, then she said some words that I didn't understand, but that I understood to mean I came out fine and tested fine once I was out. Dad wondered if playing the drums in high school could cause it because of the vibrations (*seriously* - I love my Dad, but my bass drum did *not* scar my brain). I've never been in a car accident (fingers crossed, knock on wood, and all of that). Anyways, no head trauma.
Fine. She wants to run an ekg and some bloodwork to "make sure I'm not susceptible to this kind of thing". My interpretation? To make sure I don't have MS. Hey, you google brain scarring and see what you get!
I think the scarring is probably insignificant/unimportant (don't say "nothing" - there is something there, after all). Of all the things she could have seen in my MRI, other than nothing special, this would be my choice. I appreciate her thoroughness and will submit to additional poking and prodding.
Knowledge is so much better than a fear of the unknown. Now I can relax.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Scared - Update
I called at 8 when the doctor's office opens. I was told that the doctor is on a different campus today. They will check my file and call me back if she left a note.
I'm certain that she didn't leave a note. I'm certain that I'll receive no phone call today.
I'm debating calling the other campus, but hesitating because my file isn't there and she probably won't tell me anything because of that.
But I'm still freaking out. I can't help it.
A few years back, my Dad was going to have surgery to fix his intestines, which always seemed to be messed up (a trait I inherited). He had some routine pre-op bloodwork done and received a phone call from his doctor, who wanted him to visit a hematologist because something was abnormal about his blood. Dad got off the phone, looked at me and said, "Go get the medical dictionary and look up leukemia." Mom tried and tried to convince him to not jump to the worst conclusion, to just wait for the hematologist to see him, etc, but it was no use. Dad was diagnosed with leukemia by the hematologist. (But the kind where you have a relatively long life expectancy and they don't try to treat you - he is doing fine 2 years after diagnosis.)
But you see my point, right?
"Hi, Amber, this is Dr. K calling about the results for your MRI." Combined with "I'll call you if there is anything abnormal." even when that statement is paired with "Don't freak out if I call you." --> I'm freaking out. What if there is something really wrong with me? Not just that my face doesn't work, but really wrong? I know I'm supposed to not jump to the worst conclusion, and that there probably isn't anything wrong with me. She probably just saw... what?? What is good and abnormal in your brain?????
I'm certain that she didn't leave a note. I'm certain that I'll receive no phone call today.
I'm debating calling the other campus, but hesitating because my file isn't there and she probably won't tell me anything because of that.
But I'm still freaking out. I can't help it.
A few years back, my Dad was going to have surgery to fix his intestines, which always seemed to be messed up (a trait I inherited). He had some routine pre-op bloodwork done and received a phone call from his doctor, who wanted him to visit a hematologist because something was abnormal about his blood. Dad got off the phone, looked at me and said, "Go get the medical dictionary and look up leukemia." Mom tried and tried to convince him to not jump to the worst conclusion, to just wait for the hematologist to see him, etc, but it was no use. Dad was diagnosed with leukemia by the hematologist. (But the kind where you have a relatively long life expectancy and they don't try to treat you - he is doing fine 2 years after diagnosis.)
But you see my point, right?
"Hi, Amber, this is Dr. K calling about the results for your MRI." Combined with "I'll call you if there is anything abnormal." even when that statement is paired with "Don't freak out if I call you." --> I'm freaking out. What if there is something really wrong with me? Not just that my face doesn't work, but really wrong? I know I'm supposed to not jump to the worst conclusion, and that there probably isn't anything wrong with me. She probably just saw... what?? What is good and abnormal in your brain?????
Scared (Day 28)
Ummm, so yeah.
My neurologist said that if my MRI was normal, I'd get a letter. If not, she'd call me. If needed, she'd see me.
When I got in to work this morning, she had called last Friday. That means something isn't normal.
She also said not to freak out if she called.
I'm trying not to freak out.
Really, I am.
But her office isn't open yet, and I want to talk to her NOW!!! I'd rather be dealing with whatever news it is than sitting around anticipating what it might be.
My neurologist said that if my MRI was normal, I'd get a letter. If not, she'd call me. If needed, she'd see me.
When I got in to work this morning, she had called last Friday. That means something isn't normal.
She also said not to freak out if she called.
I'm trying not to freak out.
Really, I am.
But her office isn't open yet, and I want to talk to her NOW!!! I'd rather be dealing with whatever news it is than sitting around anticipating what it might be.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Contacts are in!!!
I feel fairly confident in saying that my optometrist would not approve (since my right eye still doesn't completely close), but yesterday afternoon I tried putting my contacts in. Both of them.
I have to be careful about having drops, and I am really concentrating on blinking, but so far, so good. It feels *great* to be not wearing glasses. I mean GREAT!!!!!
I have to be careful about having drops, and I am really concentrating on blinking, but so far, so good. It feels *great* to be not wearing glasses. I mean GREAT!!!!!
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Off my meds (again)
Last night I got home so late, I forgot to take my once-daily dose of NSAID.
So this morning I decided we'll do another weekend experiment of going off the meds. No pain yet, not that it has been very long.
So this morning I decided we'll do another weekend experiment of going off the meds. No pain yet, not that it has been very long.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Football on BP
I may be looking a little more normal, but I still have to be very careful about the hypersensitivity in my affected ear. It is a little surreal attending a sporting event with one ear plugged, though - harder to hear the people you are with, harder to get into the game. Ah well, at least my husband's parents, who saw me in the first week, also thought I had made great progress.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Losing track of days
My parentals came in to visit today. They were both surprised at how good my face looks. It shouldn't be this way, but I got the feeling that they thought I may have been exaggerating the severity of my initial symptoms (complete paralysis). So I showed them the videos we took of me on the first day. I wasn't exaggerating. I was completely paralyzed.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Day 23 - More Side Effects
I'm still a little tired today, but less than yesterday. I skipped the half muscle relaxer today, because yesterday was too much to handle. I'll take it if I start having pain, though.
Another interesting side effect: I seem to be dehydrated. Let's just say that throughout the BP, my liquid intake has remained stable (approx. 88 oz/day), but my output has been quite a bit less than normal. What's up with that???
I was too tired to take Tuesday pics last night, but I promise to get some tonight.
My parentals are coming to visit this weekend. I hope I have the energy to entertain them!
Another interesting side effect: I seem to be dehydrated. Let's just say that throughout the BP, my liquid intake has remained stable (approx. 88 oz/day), but my output has been quite a bit less than normal. What's up with that???
I was too tired to take Tuesday pics last night, but I promise to get some tonight.
My parentals are coming to visit this weekend. I hope I have the energy to entertain them!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Day Somethingorother - Too Tired to Care
The title says it all.
Is it that the pred-no-doze no longer keeps me awake through the pain meds?
Is it some secondary infection?
I don't know. I do care - I care about going to bed.
2.5 hours of work down. 5.5 hours to bed.
Beeeeeeeeed.....
Is it that the pred-no-doze no longer keeps me awake through the pain meds?
Is it some secondary infection?
I don't know. I do care - I care about going to bed.
2.5 hours of work down. 5.5 hours to bed.
Beeeeeeeeed.....
Monday, October 1, 2007
Day 21 - Side Effects
I think that the pred-no-doze had one very positive side effect. I think that it countered the GI issues that crop up for me on certain medications.
And now I'm no longer taking it. And my stomach wants me within 100 yards of a bathroom at all times. Seriously.
In other side effect news, I feel sloooooow, sleepy, and totally mentally sluggish. Actually, sluggish is an understatement. I feel stupid.
I want my bed. Bad. I want to curl up in it and hibernate til the BP is gone and I can be normal again.
At least the meds seem to have stopped the pain. Yesterday morning it was sufficiently excruciating for me to just pop a muscle relaxer and go back to sleep when the alarm went off. Today I don't have that luxury. Nor will I for several days now. Joy.
And now I'm no longer taking it. And my stomach wants me within 100 yards of a bathroom at all times. Seriously.
In other side effect news, I feel sloooooow, sleepy, and totally mentally sluggish. Actually, sluggish is an understatement. I feel stupid.
I want my bed. Bad. I want to curl up in it and hibernate til the BP is gone and I can be normal again.
At least the meds seem to have stopped the pain. Yesterday morning it was sufficiently excruciating for me to just pop a muscle relaxer and go back to sleep when the alarm went off. Today I don't have that luxury. Nor will I for several days now. Joy.
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